Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Telling Your Kids About Your Divorce - Avoid These Mistakes

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT

Preparing to break the news to your kids that you're divorcing their other parent? Feeling insecure about how to broach the subject? Wondering how much to share? How your children will react? How to handle their questions? How to deal with your special circumstances? What the experts suggest?

Having the "divorce talk" with a child you love is one of the toughest conversations you'll ever have. Shouldn't you be prepared?

Here are the mistakes most commonly made by parents. Be sure you don't add stress to your children's lives by making these errors.

Pressuring children to make choices. Most kids feel torn when asked to choose between parents. Don't put them in that position.

Failing to remind children that none of this is in any way their fault. Your children are innocent but they dont always realize it. Its your place to tell them this again and again in the months to come.

Sharing information only adults should be aware of. Parents often do this to bond with their children or try to win them over. It creates a burden that children shouldn't have to bare. Talk to adults about adult issues.

The good news is there is lots of help available to you from qualified professionals. For a peaceful divorce, try mediation or an attorney specializing in the Collaborative Divorce model. Family therapists are always an excellent resource. You can also reach out to clergy, guidance counselors in the schools or professional coaches who handle divorce and family issues. In addition, many outstanding books and articles provide expertise on this subject.

Dont underestimate how seriously your children will be impacted by this news. Speak gently and will love. Avoid the pitfalls that make a tough conversation even tougher on your kids. With care and consideration you can set the stage for a positive future for both you and your children.

About the Author:

1 comment:

DrJonesAnimalAgentzDotCom said...

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Market Research:

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Best wishes

Mark Jones
CBT Product for Children